When Your Heart Goes Missing
by xXKyoandFangXx
Summary: Kyo left. Tohru's breaking down, and the every Sohma wants to kill Kyo for it. What happens when many years go by, Akito dies, Kyo is freed and wants to atone for his mistake but find Tohru happily married? To WHO? R&R!
1. Not Coming Home

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When Your Heart Goes Missing 

**xXKyoandFangXx**

Chapter One: Not Coming Home

**Kyo's P.O.V.**

It's been so long… so long, since I've seen your face… your smile – the way it lights up your eyes… your whole face starts to glow. I never once thought that I'd fall in love with you… until I did. The girl who panics over the littlest things, but could always brighten up my day with the simplest things she did. You began to heal me… Tohru… and, I never thought I'd leave like that, but… I couldn't make you suffer any longer… if only to make myself content…

It was s selfish wish… to want to stay with you until the end. To want to stay with you until the time when I must go away. I could tell… my presence was nothing but a burden – a weight – on your heart. I could never bring you any happiness. The Cat can only destroy… it has no right to fall in love…

So, I left.

I left in the middle of the night without anyone knowing. I didn't even tell Shishou I was going. I couldn't face anyone with my cowardly decision – I wouldn't let anyone, lest of all Tohru – feel how I was feeling.

It was a few days before graduation, and I had given up all hope of ever beating Yuki. What was the point anymore? I went to Akito. I told him I had given up - and that I would accept my confinement… early. Akito didn't ask questions, taunt or scold me. He just stood up, without a word, and took me to the Cat's confinement chambers.

I wanted to say something – a request – but I didn't know how. But, Akito asked, as he was about to leave,

"You want anything else from me, monster?"

I turned around and looked at him… my face and voice held no emotion… and said,

"Don't tell… them… about my decision just yet, please… if they ask, you can say what I chose… but only if they… ask…" I heard my voice getting softer and weaker as I spoke; the last word a barely audible whisper. Akito looked at me for a moment, then shut the door, and locked it.

That was the last I saw of him… of anyone… for a long, long time…

The room was dark… only a bit of light shone through the small window to the right of the door… but I didn't mind. It seemed fitting… for the rest of the cat's existence to be filled with the darkness it deserved. The Cat had no right to any comforts. It was a monster, and deserved to be treated like one.

I sat down in the corner farthest from the door and did my best not to think. Because thinking would bring back memories I wanted to forget. Memories of the girl I loved, haunted me day and night, making my soul… heart… ache with pain, sorrow and regret. I had done nothing but hurt her. I knew, if I had stayed those few extra days… it would have been unbearable for me. Because I knew… that if she knew… that I was leaving… she would go to Akito, and he'd probably hurt… or kill her.

I couldn't let that happen. I would protect her at all costs – at the price of whatever was demanded. I would even protect her from me – which meant I had to leave… and never come back. She deserved so much better than what I could offer.

So… I'm here… I've been her for I don't know how long. I am brought a meal twice a day: morning and night. The rest of the time I just sit there and stare into the darkness… and try to keep my thoughts at bay… to keep y mind blank – for if I could remember nothing, it couldn't cause me any pain… though I knew the Cat deserved whatever came to it…

I would sleep sometimes too, but when I slept… I dreamt… and I couldn't fight my subconscious – that brought up images and memories of Tohru.

There were times that I gave into the misery of leaving her… there were times that I missed her so much, it _hurt_… it _physically hurt_ to remember, to miss… to regret.

But still, not a day went by that I could keep my thought at bay… she always leaked through. It seemed futile… as time when on… to try and forget her. As time went on, it was like I _couldn't_ forget her… Because, if I did, it would cause me physical pain to do so. I realized… to forget… was to die…

I sometimes didn't understand myself… like I was in some strangers' body… I just didn't understand why I didn't just kill myself – to get rid of the pain… the misery of remembering her. I could've had Akito do it from the start… or I could just starve myself. I didn't understand why I didn't just end it.

I think I was still holding onto something inside me… but I didn't know what…

And so… time went on… here, and outside… unknown to me.

I'm sorry Tohru… I'm not coming home.

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**A/N: Okay, everyone! That's my new story! I really hoped you liked it! So, please review and the rest will be up soon! **

**Love forever and ever and ever and ever...**

**Fenna**

**P.S. I DO NOT OWN FURUBA!**


	2. I Hate Myself For Losing You

_When Your Heart Goes Missing_

**xXKyoandFangXx**

Chapter Two: I Hate Myself For Losing You

**Tohru's P.O.V.**

I woke up, three days before graduation, bright and early. I was surprised that I was up so early… _normally only Kyo-kun is up this early… I wonder if he left for his run yet…?_

I pulled off my covers and quickly got dressed in my school uniform, and tied back my hair with the ribbons Yuki-kun had given me. I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs, pausing at Kyo-kun's closed bedroom door. _He must've not left yet…_

"Kyo-kun?" I called, knowing softly on his door.

There was no answer.

"Kyo-kun?" I called again, but still no answer, so I slowly pulled open the door. I saw he wasn't there. His window was open… is bed made… but his running clothes and hoes were discarded in a corner and his uniform hung up in his closet.

_Where could he have gone?_ I thought, walking out of the room, and went downstairs to make breakfast before we set off for one of our last days in high school.

But, when I got downstairs, Kyo-kun wasn't there, either. I was confused, and starting to worry. _Where could Kyo-kun be?_ I thought in dismay.

"Kyo-kun?" I called, walking out the front door and looking around. "Kyo-kun?" I called again. _Huh… maybe the roof…?_ I hurried around the side of the house and up the ladder, only to discover he wasn't there either. _Where is he?_ I was starting to panic.

I rushed back into the house – hearing Shigure-san calling my name.

"Sorry Shigure-san!" I said, bowing quickly. "I was just looking for Kyo-kun! Do you know where he could be?" I asked, and part of me already knew his answer.

"No. Sorry Tohru, I don't know." He said, confirming my suspicions. "He's not here you say?"

"No! And I'm really worried! Where could he have gone?" I said, really starting to panic now.

"What's wrong Miss Honda?" said Yuki-kun, coming into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"It's Kyo-kun! He's missing! What do I do? Where could he be?"

"I'm sure he's around Miss Honda."

I quickly fixed breakfast, and we ate, but still, Kyo-kun didn't appear.

"Wha-what do we do? Should we go without him? AH!" I panicked.

"Tohru! Calm, please, my precious flower. I'll look for naughty little Kyo, Go ahead to school and I'll send him along after you when I find him." Said Shigure-san, patting my arm. "Now, don't worry!"

"O-ok-kay…" I said and followed Yuki-kun to school. When we arrived, Uo-chan and Hana-chan acquired on the absence of Kyo-kun.

"I-I don't know! He wasn't at the house! I called for him and – " I exclaimed, panicking all over again with a new wave of worry.

"Tohru. Calm down. I'm sure Orangetop is fine. But, I do wonder when he could have gone…" said Uo-chan, trying to comfort me.

We headed off to class at the signal of the bell; I couldn't concentrate at all - all day. I was too anxious to see if Kyo-kun came in. But as the clock signaled the end of the day, I was in full out panic mode.

Yuki-kun met me outside and we began to walk home, but as we got closer, I began to run, in anticipation and hope that Kyo-kun would be there.

"Kyo-kun?" I yelled, bursting through the front door, and looking around wildly. "Kyo-kun!" I yelled again, and rushed into the kitchen, then up the stairs to his room. But he wasn't there! I was freaking out.

"Tohru?" I heard Shigure-san call, his voice strained, and – it almost sounded upset. I ran – sprinted, really – downstairs and skidded to a stop before Shigure-san and Yuki-kun. Shigure-san's face was torn and upset.

"Shigur-" I began, my eyes wide, and realization hit my heart with a pang. I stopped speaking with the pain of it. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Tohru… Kyo's gone. He left. He went into his confinement early."

And all went black.

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"Tohru! Tohru!"

"Miss Honda! Please wake up!"

There was a pause, and then Yuki-kun exclaimed,

"There's something wrong with her Shigure! Call Hatori! She's not waking up!"

I heard scuffling and the phone in the hallway pick up and Shigure-san speaking urgently into the phone.

I was fighting to open my eyes… without much success. They were so heavy… so I fell back under the darkness.

I heard two more voices join Shigure-san's and Yuki-kun's and I tried again to resurface.

"Tohru!" Momiji-kun cried, and shook me. "Please! Be alright! Tohru!"

"How long has she been unconscious?" asked Hatori-san.

"I-I'm not sure! Half an hour? What's wrong with her?" Shigure-san said.

"Can she hear us?" Yuki-kun asked.

"It's possible." Hatori-san said. "But, she won't come to, until she wants to." He paused. "What did you guys say – to make her pass out like this?"

"You two don't know?"

"Nuh-uh." Momiji-kun said.

"Kyo's gone. He left. He went into his confinement early."

"WHAT!? WHY!?"

"Akito didn't say."

"Akito!? Did he… force Kyo?" Momiji-kun exclaimed, outraged. "What do we do – how do we – "

"Momiji… Akito said Kyo came to him." Shigure-san said.

There was a loud sound, like something big breaking and Yuki-kun yelled,

"I'm going to _kill_ that STUPID CAT!"

I was struggling with consciousness again, and my eyes fluttered open.

"Tohru!" Momiji-kun exclaimed, relieved.

"Miss Honda?" asked Yuki-kun, kneeling down next to me, his face, sad, angry and scared.

"Y-yuk-i-kun?" I gasped quietly, reaching up to hold my head, and tried to sit up, but I flopped back down as the room spun and my eyes wouldn't focus. Hatori was beside me next.

"Tohru?" he asked, lifting up my head, and putting a soft pillow under it.

"Yes?" I said quietly, closing my eyes.

"Kyo… didn't… harm you?"

My eyes flew open, and I put my hands to cover them, tears immediately overflowing.

"No! He never!" I sobbed. "Why – why – _why!?_ Why didn't he tell me! Why did he have to go! _Why!?" _I cried, becoming hysterical. "I could've said something to make him not leave! Why Kyo-kun! Why did you leave me!?" I rolled over onto my side, and buried my face into the carpet, and just cried.

Oh, Kyo-kun… I hate myself for losing you…


	3. Unreachable

_When Your Heart Goes Missing_

**xXKyoandFangXx**

Chapter Three: Unreachable

**Yuki's P.O.V.**

"Shigure… it's been a month!" I exclaimed, pacing back and forth in the kitchen, hands behind my back, my face contorted in mask of anger, pain, fear, concern, and sadness.

Anger, because of what that _stupid cat_ has done to her…

Pain, because it hurts to see Tohru like this…

Fear, because I don't know if she'll ever get better…

Concern, because I want to help her, but don't know how…

And sadness, for seeing Tohru… waste away before my very eyes…

"No. It's been a month, 6 days, 4 hours, 13 minutes and…" he said, checking his watch, and I threw a chair at him.

"STOP IT SHIGURE!" I yelled, losing it. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"You're right… it's not… I'm just trying to lift everyone's spirits, that's all." He said, looking down – setting his dog fan on his lap and putting his face in his hand and sighed.

Almost everyone stayed at our house now (or visited several times a day): Rin, Haru, Kisa, Hiro (only because of Kisa), Momiji, Kagura, Ayame, Ritzu and Hatori. Everyone, including myself, are worried sick about Tohru. She was catatonic-like. She just sits there… in that _stupid cat's_ room, and doesn't talk. She does all the chores still, but it's like she's empty…

Rin holds her at night… while she tries to coax her to sleep. But, she just cries silently, and it's painful to watch.

It seems like, to me, from the outside, like she was losing her mother all over again, except a hundred times worse… I want to try and understand what she's going through, but I'm too afraid I'll scare her, by asking her about Kyo.

But I do know one thing: she loved him, and he just left… breaking her heart.

And for that I want to break his neck.

I sat down next to Shigure; it was late, and Rin had just gone up to Tohru, and everyone went home for the night. They'd be back at first light… like always; we all cared about her so much… and to see our precious Tohru… reduced to this empty shell is heartbreaking.

I remember back to a month ago… Uo and Hana accepted Tohru's diploma on her behalf, saying Tohru was very sick. Most of the class was horrified, and some of our classmates, came and tried to visit her. Even Kakeru came. We shooed them away, nicely, and said she was very upset… and we told them that Kyo had gone missing… and it broke her heart… at least that much we could say…

Uo and Hana came a lot too, to visit, but their eyes soon became haunted, from seeing Tohru like this… I told them to take a rest… do what they had to do, and visit when they can…

"Tohru wouldn't want all of us here, moping around her… she'd want us to try and move along, and help her when we can…" I said to them and most of the Zodiac.

"What – so now you're acting like she's dead?" Uo challenged. "If you think I'm going to leave Tohru in her time of need then you're out of your – "

"Uo… the Prince is right… we need to give Tohru some space… to her… it is as if she has died… she loved Kyo, and for him to just leave… it's torn her to pieces…" Hana said gravely.

Uo opened her mouth to challenge, but closed it, and nodded. Most of the Zodiac agreed, partly because Hatori backed me up, but they still visited often.

And to me, it was like Tohru _had _died. It was awful. I couldn't stand it! I had run up to my room, after everyone had left, and Rin had gone to Tohru in _his_ room.

"How _dare_ that stupid cat do this to her!" I yelled at no one, pacing in my room. "Did he not realize the consequences? Did he think she'd be alright? Did he really think she'd forget him and move on? Is he that stupid! He was only thinking about himself, as usual! Running away from his problems with his tail between his legs!"

I snarled, and punched the wall, leaving a large hole. My hand hurt now, but I knew that was nothing to the hurt Tohru was feeling.

"_That STUPID cat!"_ I screamed.

There was a knock on my door, and then it flew open to reveal Rin, looking pissed off.

"She's _finally _sleeping you damn rat! Be _quiet_!" and she slammed the door and hurried off back to Tohru.

I sighed, and slumped to the floor. _What _was I going to do!?

I knew at this point… Tohru… was unreachable.


	4. Flooding Memories

_When Your Heart Goes Missing_

**xXKyoandFangXx**

Chapter Four: Flooding Memories

**Tohru's P.O.V.**

_All I wanted was him to love me… love me and never leave me… I was a fool to think he'd ever return my feelings… I knew he was leaving, and I tired so hard to break the curse… but I failed, and he gave up and left… I failed him, and everyone else… I'm pathetic…_

I thought, curled up in a ball on Kyo-kun's bed. Rin sat next to me, holding my hand while I cried. Suddenly, she got up, and jumped over me and off the bed. She knelt down before me, and held my face in her hands, and said,

"Tohru! Look – look at me."

I slowly looked at her – and there was pain in her eyes.

"Isuzu-san? What's wrong?"

"Tohru-chan! I just can't see you like this! I have to do something! I can't stand to see you waste away before my eyes…" she broke off.

I stared at her, then spoke.

"Call Hatori, please."

Rin nodded, immediately understanding my decision.

"But – only him… right?"

"Yes. Only him. Not you, or anyone else. Only Kyo-kun." I said, the last word choked out.

Rin left the room and came back a few moments later, followed my Hatori. She shut the door, and left us alone.

"Yes, Tohru-chan? How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Hatori… I want to forget Kyo-kun. Just like Momiji-kun's mama forgot him, and…" I paused. "Kana forgot your love. I want to forget my love for Kyo-kun… him altogether. I – won't heal if I don't."

Hatori answered, immediately, and said, "Alright. I can understand that. Do you want to tell the others?"

I shook my head. "Just do it."

"Alright."

And he put him palm over my eyes, as a tear streaked down my face – and I forgot everything, that I loved.

**Tohru's P.O.V. **

_Two years later…_

"Yuki-kun! Dinner's ready!" I called up the stairs of our small apartment together, not far from Shigure-sans house, where we used to live before we got married a couple of months ago. I was so happy.

"Coming Miss Honda!" he called from his study, and I soon heard his footsteps coming down the steps.

"You know, Yuki-kun, you can call me Tohru. Or Miss Sohma, if you prefer. We're married."

He blushed. "Just habit." He said and smiled, giving me a small peck on the lips.

Just as we were going to sit down, the phone rang, and Yuki-kun got up to answer it.

"Hey, Hatori!" he said. "Wha-" but he stopped.

I got up and walked behind him – his face was stricken. "He's – dead?"

I gasped. "Yuki-kun, who – " But he held out his hand for me to be quiet, so I stopped in mid sentence.

"I'll be right over."

He set down the phone, and turned to me.

"Akito's dead." He said, and put his hands on my shoulders. "I have to be at the Main Estate in a few minutes and I don't know how long I'll be. Don't wait up for me. I'll call."

I nodded, concerned by his monotone voice. "Yuki-kun? Are you okay?" I asked, looking at him intently.

"Yeah." He said quietly, "I have to go."

He gave me a peck on the cheek, and left, grabbing his coat off the hook by the door as he went. I sighed, walked back into the kitchen, pulling the pot of miso off the stove, and putting it into a Tupperware to save for another dinner during the week. I went back to the table and ate quietly, thinking.

I love Yuki. He was always there for me – and I know he loves me too. But sometimes… I feel like he's holding back, or hiding something from me. He's not exactly a cold husband, but we never really got intimate…

I get this strange feeling like he knows something, about me, that I don't know myself. Like… I can't even explain it. He acts like this marriage won't last forever. And that scares me. Doesn't he want to be with me?

_Of course he does! He married you! He loves you. Stop thinking like that._ I thought, reprimanding myself.

But I couldn't help it.

I was so confused.

And pretty soon I was crying.

"What do I do?" I sobbed, as it began to rain.

"Maybe I can help." Said a voice behind me, and I jumped up, gasping, and saw a man, about my age, standing in the doorway, with flaming orange hair, looking at me with a longing in his eyes.

"Who are you? What are you – "

"It's me – Kyo!" he said, walking in and shutting the door, but a foot stopped it from closing.

"Get away from her you stupid cat!" yelled Yuki-kun, and sent him flying into the wall with one punch. "How can you walk in here! How can you think she'll forgive you!? Do you think I'll let her?"

"Yuki-ku-" I began, afraid. I had never seen him so angry.

"Tohru! Stay out of this!" he yelled, rounding on me – and I gasped, backing up, tears streaming down my face. Yuki-kun has never yelled at me.

"Oh, Tohru. I'm so sorry. My darling, wife." He said.

"WIFE?!" yelled the man, Kyo, shocked and outraged.

"You lost your chance by running away! You lost her forever! Don't you understand what you did to her?! She was BROKEN! And I fixed her! She's whole again, without you!"

Kyo looked at him, stricken – back and forth between us. "Married." He said.

"Umm, Yuki-kun? Who is this? What is going on? What are you talking about?"

Kyo looked at Yuki-kun. "What did you DO to her! Brainwash her?!" he accused.

"No. We erased her memories of you."

There was a sudden flash of white light, and I gasped, and slumped to the floor, unconscious, as my memories came flooding back to me.

**A/N: hahaha. But, YAY! she gets her memories! But - wait! she's married to YUKI!!! what will happen! Review and I'll update!**


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